From the past two articles, you've probably observed that I despise bullies. And rightly so. My Dad once told me that bullies are cowards; they pick on little kids because they're afraid to do anything else. But as I think back to the "bicycle bully" episode, I realize that I wasn't much better than he...
True, I didn't chase little kids into the ditch with my bike, nor did I come within an inch of blinding a six-year-old, but my behavior was full of anger, governed by fear. I was every bit the coward that he was!
At first, I tried to ignore the rascal, hoping he would go away. But the martyr complex didn't work. Then I got angry. And we know that "the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." (James 1:20)
Some of you will disagree with this conclusion and say that I did the heroic thing. After all, a little girl may have grown up blind, had I not interfered. Hold on a moment! I'm not regretting what I did. Just how I did it. "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls." (Proverbs 25:28)
Given the same set of circumstances, I would honestly do it again. But with control; with courage. I would still jump in front of that bike and snap his stick in half. But, instead of screaming and flailing a stick at him, I'd look the coward in the eye and quietly say, "Nate, you'd better go home before someone gets hurt."
Would I resort to violence, if necessary? You bet! But it wouldn't have been necessary. That boy was a coward. I can totally imagine him laughing at my words,-as he pedaled for home.
Why am obsessing about this story? Because I see a pattern in my life. My motto used to be, "If you ignore something long enough, it will eventually go away". But that's not realistic. Problems don't go away. They fester and grow. Then, when we finally deal with them, they're monumental!
Next time, we'll discuss the two-step rule and learn how to empower our children with courage to keep them from making my mistakes...
Oh my - the applications to my own life are buzzing around so quickly that it's hard to focus! I know I'll be reading it again tomorrow, and perhaps the next day, too, as the applications (and opportunities for repentance) sink in. Thanks for laying this out in such short bits that are meaningful, interesting, and easy for me to understand1
ReplyDeleteThank you, Beckie. I really had intended to conclude this article tonight, but it just got to be too long. It's easier for me to handle things in small chunks, so that's what I (try) to do on the blog.
ReplyDeleteI still have so much to learn in this department as I can see those old tendencies creeping up so frequently. I just hope I can teach my little ones to face conflicts correctly...
Wow, I can definitely see the whole application how it can relate with "If you ignore something long enough, it will eventually go away"... thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteIgnored problems go away about as fast as dishes left in the sink will rot. It'll never happen, unfortunately, though we may wish it, oh, so strongly. :)
ReplyDeleteThe solution seems easy and right when you put it into words...calm and courageous. The righteous are bold as a lion. If we are doing right, we don't have to get angry or fleshly because we have Jesus on our side. How much more power can we ask for?
Thanks, Mary Jo, for a thought-provoking addition to your series!
Auntie Sheri