The Death of Superwoman: Part 3

I know! I know! Why isn't she dead yet? Unfortunately, old habits die hard. And death itself is a life-long process!

Yesterday, I woke in discouragement and despair. Literally drained emotionally and spiritually, I started to walk out the door for my morning work-out. I usually listen to music while I drive (it helps me wake up) but I knew I was in no mood for music. Do you ever feel like that? So bummed that you don't want anything to help you feel better. (Yeah, it's called a pity-party!)

Anyway, my eyes lighted on some tapes my friend Pauline had lent me. They were from Homeschool Conferences in the past. That should help my pity-party, right? Get to listen to all the things I'm not doing right in homeschool. I picked them up and scanned their titles. The first one was on Servanthood. ~OK, I'm not that bummed! Then another title grabbed my attention, "Oops! My Cup is Empty and My Coffee Pot is Broke!"

WOW! I can relate to that! Stuffing it into my purse and grabbing my Low-fat, Protein Shake off the counter, I hit the road and popped the tape into the deck.

At first, all I could do was nit-pick; I didn't like her translation of the Bible. This statement wasn't exactly Calvinistic, you know. And the high-pitched tone reminded me of some silly schoolgirl.

I almost turned it off several times. But, not really having anything better to do, as my car drove down the deserted interstate, I let it continue to play.

Arriving at my workout, (from which I had left bawling the day previous) I mustered a smile and attacked my assignment with much more enthusiasm than I thought possible.

Cranking the car again, the sound of a woman's voice caused me to jump! It was Cindy Rushton still talking. With renewed interest, I began listening to the message again. Somehow, I didn't notice my objections anymore. The lady was speaking from her heart and somehow it felt like she was talking just to me.

Describing 10 years of infertility and miscarriage (which I can definitely understand) Cindy Rushton described her innate need to put on a facade and pretend to be "Superwoman."

I must admit, I glared at the tape deck. Has she been reading my blog posts? But no, this was taped six years ago. She continued to describe the pain that only a mother who has lost children can understand, as well as some of the very things I've been contemplating lately. Such as letting go of unfair expectations and being honest with each other. But most of all, taking our empty cups to Christ and letting Him fill them to overflowing.

Soon, tears were streaming down my cheeks and by the time my car turned into our drive, I was shaking with sobs. I tried to pray, but no words came. Then I was reminded of a precious promise:

"...the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us

with groanings which cannot be uttered." (Romans 8:26)

My cup was empty and my coffee pot was broke. But Christ said, "come unto Me and drink!"

"I came to Jesus, and I drank

Of that life-giving stream;

My thirst was quenched, my soul revived

And now I live in Him."

(Horatius Bonar)