Perplexed, but Not in Despair

I read this as a tract many years ago, and have never forgotten the words below. (I would love to hear your thoughts on this!)

"The Lord’s appointments, to those who fear Him, are not only sovereign, but wise and gracious. He has connected their good with His own glory, and is engaged, by promise, to make all things work together for their advantage.

He chooses for His people better than they could choose for themselves; if they are in heaviness, there is a need-be for it, and He withholds nothing from them but what upon the whole it is better they should be without. Thus the Scriptures teach, and thus we profess to believe.

Furnished with these principles, we are at no loss to suggest motives of patience and consolation to our brethren that are afflicted; we can assure them, without hesitation, that if they are interested in the promises, their concerns are in safe hands; that the things which at present are not joyous but grievous, shall in due season yield the peaceful fruits of righteousness, and that their trials are as certainly mercies as their comforts.

We can prove to them, from the history of Joseph, David, Job, and other instances recorded in Scriptures, that, notwithstanding any present dark appearances, it shall certainly be well with the righteous; that God can and will make crooked things straight; and that He often produces the greatest good from those events which we are apt to look upon as evil."

(John Newton: More Than a Calvinist)

"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed;

we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken;

cast down, but not destroyed..." 2 Cor 4:8-9

Saying "Farewell"

Yesterday, we said a final goodbye to some very special friends. After two weeks of thinking that each meeting was our last, the real farewell was a little anti-climactic, but still extremely difficult.

The first time I met the Witvoet family was at my parent's church in Williston, FL. I fell in love with them instantly and joyed in the birth of three of their children; even watching their older children while Angi was in the hospital giving birth to baby Gerrit. Soon after they moved to Illinois, I moved to Pensacola and we lost contact.

Then, almost six years ago, I ran into Gerrit at a Yard Sale here in Pensacola! I had heard that they were living here, but didn't know if they would remember me (or want to remember me). But he seemed genuinely pleased, so we exchanged phone numbers. Soon, Angi and I had reconnected and a beautiful friendship began again.

From the first day that I took baby Joanna to their house, our children have loved being there! Just driving into their yard would bring squeals of laughter from the girls, even as babies. It was a home away from home; a place of refreshment and peace. In reciprocating fashion, they watched the girls while I was giving birth to Felicity and then Brigitta.

(The Witvoet family with baby Joanna)

Yesterday, I got to tell Angi that their home, and it's occupants, always reminded me of "Palace Beautiful" in John Bunyan's allegory; "The Pilgrim's Progress". After a series of trial and struggles, Christian found rest and encouragement there. But he wasn't permitted to remain forever. It just strengthened and prepared him for the trials ahead.

The past month has been an emotional roller coaster for me, but I do believe that, although the Lord provides rest and relief for weary pilgrims, He wants us to remember that we have "no abiding city here" for "this world is not our home."

Farewell is not good-bye. Despite the tears, I will trust these precious friends to the hand of Him that "knoweth best and doeth well."

Happy Mother's Day!

I realize this is a few days late, but I just had to share my Mother's Day with you all.

Honestly, the past two weeks have been so incredibly hectic, that I actually forgot about Mother's Day!  Rising early, as usual, for my Sunday morning shower, I then sat in the living room, obliviously reading, while waiting for the house to burst with life.

Soon, two pairs of feet could be heard running down the hall. Then, before I knew it, two little bodies were sailing through the air, two pairs of arms were wrapped around my neck, and two little voices sweetly wished me a "Happy Mother's Day!" A few minutes later, Daddy appeared with Brigitta, who squirmed out of his arms and ran to imitate her big sisters. What a wonderful way to start the day!!!

(Joanna, Felicity, and Brigitta)

After church, as I was preparing dinner, Thom took all three of the girls into the garage to sign my card. Not knowing where they were, I walked in on them to call them for dinner. Panicked, my beloved hid the card and quickly gathered the girls; but after dinner, he couldn't remember where he put it!

While he searched the house in frustration, I couldn't help but smile. You see, with three little ones at my elbows all day long, I am always so distracted and absent-minded-- I'm constantly losing and forgetting things!. So, his little episode made me laugh! I can't think of a better Mother's Day present, than to see Daddy having a "Mommy-moment."

Eventually he found the card and it was beautiful, but knowing the love that went into finding it, made it even more special. You know, being a mom is hard work. Anyone who says differently is selling something. But it's the most rewarding job on the planet. And it definitely has it's perks. =)

"It takes a mouthful of kindness, an armful of hugs;

A barrelful of fun and games: to keep away the bugs.

A pinch of understanding, completes the recipe,

And you mix it all together for a happy family."

(Ron Hamilton: Recipe for a Happy Family)

Felicity's "Green Thing"

Less than two weeks ago, my husband and I did one of the hardest things we've had to do as parents. We took away Felicity's "green thing." Those of you that know "Issy" have rarely seen her without this piece of silky, green material (a piece of my old nightgown).

For the past two and a half years, she has carried that cloth around, dragging it through the dirt, cuddling with it after falling down, and begging for it day and night. When it was lost, the whole house was turned upside-down until a squeal of delight indicated that it had been found. Leaving the house in a hurry, we would turn around and go back for the beloved "green thing" or there would be no peace.

Finally, Thom and I decided that it was time. But we dreaded the results. If she was this fussy with her precious blankie, what would she be like without it? We didn't know; but something had to be done. Sitting her down, Daddy and I explained to Felicity that it was time to say "good-bye." As the tears filled her eyes, I felt my own heart being torn, knowing how important that piece of green cloth was to my little one.

That night was terrible. After crying for an hour before going to sleep, Felicity woke up around midnight and came into our room, crying pitifully. Gathering her into my arms, I rocked and crooned to my little girl until exhaustion took her. Half an hour later, she was awake again, but didn't cry quite as long. For the rest of the night, she would wake every 30-45 minutes, but each time the crying was a little less.

(Felicity sharing her "green thing" with Baby Brigitta)

The next day, I was dreading nap-time. And I needed a nap! Surprisingly, she only asked for the "green thing" one time, and as I rubbed her back, she was asleep within five minutes. That night, she didn't even ask for it.

Over the next few days, I was astonished at the change in her behavior. I expected it to change, but I didn't expect it to improve, especially that drastically! All the sudden, I had a happy girl on my hands again! She laughed, played, talked incessantly, sang with all her heart, and used every excuse to cuddle and whisper sweet things in my ear. Her temper flare-ups became few and far between, and her cheerful obedience soared. I was puzzled; How could a little piece of material (or the absence, thereof) make such a drastic difference in a three year old?

Discussing this with my friend, Noreen, I was thunder-struck to hear her comment that, to Felicity, the "green thing" had become an idol. An idol? Really? I mean, aren't idols just fat, little, green images that people bow down to and worship?

But the suggestion was stuck in my head. This piece of cloth was not just a piece of cloth to Issy. It was her life-- her world. It was something she thought she couldn't live without. It was an idol. And when we removed it from her, we were releasing her from it's power over her.

Now, I'm not going to go overboard here, and start condemning every little child that walks around with a precious "blankie." But this train of thought made me consider how every one of us has an innate need for comfort and security. We try to find them in different things like family, possessions, relationships, jobs, financial stability, religion, and a myriad of other things. But the fact is; comfort and security can only be found in Christ. Whatever it is that we think we can't live without, has become an idol unto us. Anything that robs us of our fellowship with God, is our god.

But when, like Felicity, we are forced to relinquish them unto Him, we find His presence closer, His smile more precious, and His grace so amazing, that we wonder how we could ever love anything more than we love Him.

"Father, I want to know Thee,

But my cowardly heart fears to give up its toys.

I cannot part with them without inward bleeding,

And I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting.

I come trembling, but I do come.

Please root from my heart all Those things

Which I have cherished so long

And which have become a very part of my living self,

So that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival.

Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious.

Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it,

For Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there.

In Jesus' name, Amen." 

(A.W. Tozer: The Pursuit of God)

"Little children, keep yourselves from idols." (1 John 5:21) 

Blessed Contradictions

Have you ever stopped to consider the blessed contradictions of Scripture?

For instance, the Apostle Paul told the Corinthians: "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it?" (1 Cor 10:13)

Now, if that's not a contradiction, then I don't know what is: "He'll make a way of escape...that ye may be able to bear it?" Why, everyone knows that if you escape something, you don't have to bear it anymore!

A convict, escaping from his cell, is free from the torments of his captors. A bird, released from its cage, is free from its captivity. But Paul tells the believers in Corinth that the Lord will provide a way of escape--so they can bear their temptations!

But while Christ said He would make a way of escape, He doesn't say we won't have trials.

Just as He did stand in the flames with the Three Hebrews, but did not keep them out of the fiery furnace, so Christ never promised to remove us from tribulation, but to preserve us through it.

I realize that my struggles and trials are petty and paltry compared to the saints of old. So many have willingly given their lives for the faith, yet I fret and complain about a few "difficulties." Nevertheless, His promise is true for even the least of His children; He will make a way of escape, but how?

"For consider him that endured

such contradiction of sinners against himself,

lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." (Heb 12:3)

It comes to me then, that the answer is in looking to Christ and considering the contradictions He bore. When we look at our present circumstances, we can only grow weary and faint. But when we see what Christ has borne on our behalf, we realize our way of escape is Christ. Feasting on Him and on His Word is our way of escape. And considering those contradictions reminded me of my favorite Christmas hymn:

Jesus, Wonderful Lord!

By: Paul White

Born among cattle, in poverty sore,

Living in meekness by Galilee's shore,

Dying in shame as those wicked ones swore;

Jesus, wonderful Lord!

Weary, yet He is the World's only rest;

Hungry & thirsty—with plenty has blest;

Tempted—He promises grace for each test;

Jesus‚ wonderful Lord!

Friend of the friendless—betrayed & denied,

Help of the weak—in Gethsemane cried;

Light of the World—in gross darkness He died;

Jesus, wonderful Lord!"

When we consider these blessed contradictions; when we "look unto Jesus" and contemplate how He, "for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross" then the statement becomes less of a riddle and an increasingly wonderful promise, He will "with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

Have you ever experienced this way of escape? Has there ever been a time when a verse of Scripture, or a hymn, popped into your head at the right moment and gave you the grace to endure and defeat a particular temptation? Have you ever found strength for the day, just by considering what He has borne for you?

"Consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself,

lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." (Heb 12:3)

The Mercy Seat: An Allegory by C.H. Spurgeon

Once on a time, Mercy sat upon her snow-white throne, surrounded by the troops of love. A sinner was brought before her, whom Mercy designed to save.

The herald blew the trumpet, and after three blasts thereof, with a loud voice, he said—"O heaven and earth, and hell, I summon you this day to come before the throne of Mercy, to tell why this sinner should not be saved."

There stood the sinner, trembling with fear; he knew that there were multitudes of opponents, who would press into the hall of Mercy, and with eyes full of wrath would say, "He must not, and he shall not escape, he must be lost!"

The trumpet was blown, and Mercy sat placidly on her throne, until there stepped in one with a fiery countenance; his head was covered with light; he spoke with a voice like thunder, and out of his eyes flashed lightning!

"Who art thou?" said Mercy.

He replied, "I am Law; the law of God."

"And what hast thou to say?"

"I have this to say," and he lifted up a stony tablet, written on both sides; "these ten commands this wretch has broken. My demand is blood; for it is written, 'The soul that sinneth it shall die.' Die he, or justice must."

The wretch trembles, his knees knock together, the marrow of his bones melts within him, as if they were ice dissolved by fire, and he shakes with very fright. Already he thought he saw the thunderbolt launched at him, he saw the lightning penetrate into his soul, hell yawned before him in imagination, and he thought himself cast away for ever.

But Mercy smiled, and said, "Law, I will answer thee. This wretch deserves to die; justice demands that he should perish—I award thee thy claim." And oh! how the sinner trembles. "But there is one yonder who has come with me to-day, my king, my Lord; his name is Jesus; he will tell you how the debt can be paid, and the sinner can go free."

Then Jesus spake, and said, "O Mercy, I will do thy bidding. Take me Law; put me in a garden; make me sweat drops of blood; then nail me to a tree; scourge my back before you put me to death; hang me on the cross; let blood run from my hands and feet; let me descend into the grave; let me pay all the sinner oweth; I will die in his stead."

And the Law went out and scourged the Savior, nailed him to the cross, and coming back with his face all bright with satisfaction, stood again at the throne of Mercy, and Mercy said, "Law, what hast thou now to say?"

"Nothing," said he, "fair angel, nothing."

"What! not one of these commands against him?"

"No, not one. Jesus, his substitute, has kept them all—has paid the penalty for his disobedience; and now, instead of his condemnation, I demand as a debt of justice that he be acquitted."

(Mercy restraining Justice)

"Stand thou here," said Mercy, "sit on my throne; I and thou together will now send forth another summons." The trumpet rang again. "Come hither, all ye who have aught to say against this sinner, why he should not be acquitted;" and up comes another—one who often troubled the sinner, one who had a voice not so loud as that of the Law, but still piercing and thrilling—a voice whose whispers were like the cuttings of a dagger.

"Who art thou?" says Mercy. "I am Conscience; this sinner must be punished; he has done so much against the law of God that he must be punished; I demand it; and I will give him no rest till he is punished, nor even then, for I will follow him even to the grave, and persecute him after death with pangs unutterable."

"Nay," said Mercy, "hear me," and while he paused for a moment, she took a bunch of hyssop and sprinkled Conscience with the blood, saying, "Hear me, Conscience, 'The blood of Jesus Christ, God's Son, cleanseth us from all sin;' Now hast thou ought to say,?"

"No," said Conscience, "nothing. Henceforth I will not grieve him; I will be a good conscience unto him, through the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ."

The trumpet rang a third time, and growling from the innermost vaults, up there came a grim black fiend, with hate in his eyes, and hellish majesty on his brows. He is asked, "Hast thou anything against that sinner?"

"Yes," said he, "I have; he has made a league with hell, and a covenant with the grave, and here it is signed with his own hand. He asked God to destroy his soul in a drunken fit, and vowed he would never turn to God; see, here is his covenant with hell!"

"Let us look at it," said Mercy; and it was handed up, whilst the grim fiend looked at the sinner, and pierced him through with his black looks. "Ah! but," said Mercy, "this man had no right to sign the deed; a man must not sign away another's property. This man was bought and paid for long beforehand; he is not his own; the covenant with death is dis-annulled, and the league with hell is rent in pieces. Go thy way Satan,"

"Nay," said he, howling again, "I have something else to say: that man was always my friend; he listened ever to my insinuations; he scoffed at the gospel; he scorned the majesty of heaven; is he to be pardoned, whilst I repair to my hellish den, for ever to bear the penalty of guilt?"

Said Mercy, "Avaunt, thou fiend; these things he did in the days of his unregeneracy; but this word 'nevertheless' blots them out. Go thou to thy hell; take this for another lash upon thyself—the sinner shall be pardoned, but thou—never, treacherous fiend!"

And then Mercy, smilingly turning to the sinner, said, "Sinner, the trumpet must be blown for the last time!" Again it was blown, and no one answered. Then stood the sinner up, and Mercy said, "Sinner ask thyself the question—ask thou of heaven, of earth, of hell—whether any can condemn thee?"

And the sinner stood up, and with a bold loud voice said, "Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect?" And he looked into hell, and Satan lay there, biting his iron bonds; and he looked on earth, and earth was silent; and in the majesty of faith the sinner did even climb to heaven itself, and he said, "Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect? God?'

And the answer came, "No; he justifieth."

"Christ?"

Sweetly it was whispered, "No; he died."

Then turning round, the sinner joyfully exclaimed, "Who shall separate me from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord?" And the once condemned sinner came back to Mercy; prostrate at her feet he lay, and vowed henceforth to be hers for ever, if she would keep him to the end, and make him what she would desire him to be. Then no longer did the trumpet ring, but angels rejoiced, and heaven was glad, for the sinner was saved.

"There is therefore now no condemnation

to them which are in Christ Jesus,

who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

(Romans 8:1)

Excerpt from: Obstacles Removed
By: Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Hope and Promise

This will probably be my last blog post for awhile. A certain three-year-old has succeeded in acutely revealing my miserable failings as a mother and I can't conscientiously continue to pretend otherwise.

As dark as despair and discouragement can be, I am thankful for hope and promise, though I feel them but dimly. It just amazes me that our Sovereign Lord uses them when we least expect it.

I know there are diverse opinions regarding C.S. Lewis and his Narnian Chronicles. I'm still on the fence myself. But yesterday morning, driving back from my workout, I strangely began to think about a scene in "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" that has caused me to snicker on a few occasions.

During the coronation of Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, Aslan presents them to the Narnians with new names. But his names for them are quite contrary to their behavior throughout the story.

You see: Peter wasn't very "Magnificent", Susan was anything but "Gentle", Timid Lucy could hardly be called "Valiant", and Edmund (the defiant traitor) was definitely not "Just."

Then it hit me. Aslan wasn't looking at their past or present. He saw what he making them. He saw what they would be. And despite your views of Lewis and his books, you have to admit that this analogy holds true for every one of us that belongs to Christ.

Instead of just viewing faults and failures, our Heavenly Father sees the finished work of Christ on our behalf.

He sees what we will be.

So, while I only feel weak and miserable, He sees Strength and Beauty. I groan under the vileness and wretchedness in my soul, but He sees Grace and Glory. Oh, what a wonderful Savior!

No condemnation now I dread;

Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;

Alive in Him, my living Head,

And clothed in righteousness divine,

Bold I approach th’eternal throne,

And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

~Charles Wesley